That’s Thin Bashing! (and other stupid things privileged people say)

An excellent explanation of what privilege is. Many people don’t understand. This breaks it down nicely.

Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

Dickweed

For those who cannot access this link or don’t have time to read it all (I highly recommend it), basically it boils down to this:

Any person of any identity can be an asshole to any person of any other identity. But that doesn’t make it oppression. It doesn’t even make it racism or sexism or heterosexim or any other -ism. There is a profound danger in watering down our discussion of identity by removing any mention of societal power, oppression, and privilege. Doing so ensures that the conversation remains about interpersonal slights rather than about the larger systems of oppression that are the true problem. [Emphasis not mine]

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Weight Stigma Awareness Week Almost Goes Unnoticed By Busy Lady Wearing Pajamas

Weight Stigma Awareness Week is incredibly important and I hope everyone who reads this will support and help spread the word.
My body looks a lot like the body on the right, although I have a bigger caboose. This is the closest you all will ever come to seeing me naked. I know you are crying now.

Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

Exercise

While some writers have spent the entire week meticulously researching and formulating thought-provoking pieces to appear in their respective publications in honor of (or perhaps in response to) Weight Stigma Awareness Week, I had to be reminded and hit with the cattle prod several times by Shannon to even get me started.

You see, it’s not that I don’t care about these things, it’s just that I am the kind of idiot who remains forever blinded by the inborn refusal to deny my own awesomeness in a crisis.

Me? Stigmatized? No.

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A fat man walked into a bar…

I think we can make fun of ourselves without being mean. Russell Peters (who is half-Indian) jokes about Asian stereotypes. It might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but he isn’t mean-spirited and I find him quite humorous.
One of my favorite comedians is Gabriel Iglesias. He once told a joke about fat guys on a roller coaster, which I found absolutely hilarious. He’s fat himself, and he wasn’t belittling fat people, but he was joking about people of a certain size. I didn’t feel like it was harmful.
I do feel like we have to be able to laugh at ourselves. Also, sometimes taking stereotypes to a ridiculous level does expose just how ridiculous stereotyping people actually is.
That’s just my take on things.

Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

Fat Health

Ah yes, the fat joke — the old standby of tired hacks who need a quick laugh in a dying set. But is it ever OK to tell a fat joke?

Rebel Wilson

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Special K Thinks We’re All Stupid

I’ve discussed before how Special K (I’m pretty sure the K stands for Krappy) ads make me all stabby, but I’m always fine to do so again.
Their cereal has lousy nutritional value. I could eat the box it came in and get similar nutrition, and a similar taste.
I think the stupidest of their ads is for the so called Chocolate Delight cereal, which makes freaking Cocoa Krispies taste like dark chocolate mousse.
Here’s a weight-obsessed woman who for reasons unknown decides to make a cake. She’s about to (Jenny Craig forbid!) lick the bowl. Instead, she decides to have Chocolate Delight cereal, which, lo and behold, solves her craving for evil, evil chocolate.
Why the fresh hell would you make a freaking cake in the first place if you aren’t going to enjoy the damn thing?
GAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
I refuse to purchase any product made by Kellogg’s at this point.

Dances With Fat

Cookie Monster Special KOne of the great things about watching all of my TV on Hulu and Netflix is that I don’t see a lot of commercials. For the past couple of days I’ve been dog sitting two super cute pitbulls and so I’ve been watching cable, which means watching a ton of crappy weight loss commercials.  The only thing that’s stopped me from hurling something heavy at the television is that it’s not mine.

The most insidious examples right now seem to come from Special K. They are using a size acceptance message to sell weight loss.  It’s gross.  In some commercials they’ve stolen size acceptance tools like Marilyn Wann’s Yay Scale and Amanda Levitt’s Body Positive Measuring Tapes. Claire Mysko over on The Frisky did a great job of taking this down.

The one I keep seeing is this one:

As a catchy song about having a good day plays…

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Handicapped accessible? Don’t make me laugh.

Excellent points about creating handicapped-accessible amenities and the necessity of doing so. It’s something that even sympathetic able-bodied folks don’t end up giving much thought to, so it’s necessary that attention be called to these issues. Thank you.

Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

Warning: This post is about accessibility in restrooms, along with some minor details of what people do in restrooms.

This was going to be a post about our vacation to Norfolk, VA — the naval base there, Colonial Williamsburg, and the other tourist spots we hit. Instead, it’s going to be a post about the accessibility1530 of every so-called “handicapped” restroom (and some motel rooms) between Minnesota and Virginia (and I hit a lot of them in Wisconsin, Indiana, Kentucky, West Virginia, and Virginia) and why some of them just don’t work for fat people (and those regular stalls in restrooms hardly ever work for fat people). We stayed in motels in Indianapolis, IN, Norfolk, VA, and Decatur, IL on our trip.

I should add a warning here that there may be information that some will consider TMI about what’s needed in restrooms and why.

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Buying Snake Oil

I’ve heard so many stories of weight loss surgery ruining people’s lives that I’d never, not for even one second, consider it. When we call it what it is, a stomach amputation, it really doesn’t sound so pretty.
It used to be that only people with life-threatening conditions such as stomach cancer received gastric bypass. It was considered a last-ditch effort to save someone’s life. Now it’s recommended to people with perfectly healthy digestive systems as a way to achieve the coveted socially acceptable weight range. Sick and sad.

Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

Weight LossFat HealthEating DisordersMy Boring-Ass LifeWeight Loss SurgeryDiet Talk

Trigger warning: Discussion of the decision to get weight loss surgery.

On the eve of Weight Stigma Awareness Week, which begins today, the insidious nature of weight stigma hit home.  It was a Thursday evening. I was attending a meeting for one of my volunteer groups that I’ve been in long enough I feel as though many of them are like family.  When I got the news that I lost the genetic lottery, they were among the first people to find out and they’re a small number of the people I am honest with about how I’m feeling.

Having gone through an adrenal crash a few days prior, there were many inquiries about my health.  Of course, I’m not the only one with issues. One of my mentees had been out for several months because his wife was sick. At the end of the night I’d asked him…

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Thoughts on Terry Bams’ Two Week Rule and Relationship Guidance

Terry Bams, a relationship coach and the author of several books on improving your romantic relationship, suggests that when you find yourself getting serious about someone, you take two weeks to get to know them by having no face to face contact and communicating only on a verbal level.
Terry then recommends taking this time to ask important questions such as how the person feels about being in a serious relationship, whether marriage is an eventual goal, and whether or not they eventually want children.
When I was introduced to the man who is now my fiancé, I had gone five years without even dating. My previous relationship was literally a twenty-one year long on and off hot and cold often emotionally abusive maelstrom. I was insecure and he was hot. I felt lucky that he would give me the time of day. I jumped right into bed with him, and I was hooked. He knew it and led me around by the balls for more than two decades.
When I realized that I was interested in Dylan as more than just a friend (and, to my surprise, he also expressed interest in taking things to the next level with me) I was scared and told him why. I told him that as a counselor, I always recommended to clients that they not become sexually active early in the relationship. He was amenable to waiting. We held out for six months, which sometimes seemed like an eternity. During that time, we made the effort to learn about each other.
Of course entering a relationship is different for most people in their thirties and up than it is for someone in their teens or twenties. From what I’ve heard, my ex’s M.O. hasn’t changed. He’s still clubbing and looking for his next score.
To get to the point, Terry’s material is worth taking a look at if you’re interested in finding a relationship or improving the one you have. He has a tell it like it is attitude and comes off as a regular Joe rather than a psychoanalyst. While he generally references heterosexual relationships, anyone can benefit from his advice.
Peace,
Adam
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