, a relationship coach and the author of several books on improving your romantic relationship, suggests that when you find yourself getting serious about someone, you take two weeks to get to know them by having no face to face contact and communicating only on a verbal level.
Terry then recommends taking this time to ask important questions such as how the person feels about being in a serious relationship, whether marriage is an eventual goal, and whether or not they eventually want children.
When I was introduced to the man who is now my fiancé, I had gone five years without even dating. My previous relationship was literally a twenty-one year long on and off hot and cold often emotionally abusive maelstrom. I was insecure and he was hot. I felt lucky that he would give me the time of day. I jumped right into bed with him, and I was hooked. He knew it and led me around by the balls for more than two decades.
When I realized that I was interested in Dylan as more than just a friend (and, to my surprise, he also expressed interest in taking things to the next level with me) I was scared and told him why. I told him that as a counselor, I always recommended to clients that they not become sexually active early in the relationship. He was amenable to waiting. We held out for six months, which sometimes seemed like an eternity. During that time, we made the effort to learn about each other.
Of course entering a relationship is different for most people in their thirties and up than it is for someone in their teens or twenties. From what I’ve heard, my ex’s M.O. hasn’t changed. He’s still clubbing and looking for his next score.
To get to the point, Terry’s material is worth taking a look at if you’re interested in finding a relationship or improving the one you have. He has a tell it like it is attitude and comes off as a regular Joe rather than a psychoanalyst. While he generally references heterosexual relationships, anyone can benefit from his advice.