Unpretty

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Probably the only photo I will ever post of myself. Obviously, I don’t have the art of “selfies” down to a science, because I don’t tend to take a lot of them. For those of you that want to comment that I’m fat and old as a potential insult, let me save you the taxation of your tiny little brain. I’m fat and old. So what? If you have a problem with this, you need to think about why you’re so hell-bent on trying to make others feel bad just because they don’t fulfill your idea of beauty.

For those who would try to placate me by saying “oh, you’re not fat and old,” you need to think about why you find either of those descriptors to be problematic. They’re actually neutral.

Technically, I’m not old-old, I’m middle aged. I’ll be 49 in February.

But I am fat. There’s no denying that one. Even the skinny fun house mirror makes me look fat because I am fat!

So what?

This post is a response to a post on the GuySpeak blog.

There’s a song by TLC which speaks to how I feel about the whole beauty judgment. Who is anyone else to make me feel unpretty, which I have my whole life.
Facially speaking, if I were to be completely academic about it, I’m not hideous. I have a reasonably symmetrical face that’s pleasant enough in a non-descript sort of way. My teeth are capped because what’s underneath is a horrible mess, so I have a pleasant enough smile. I had liposuction to remove a hereditary double chin, because, heaven forbid anyone should have a double chin. That’s, like, worse than committing genocide in our thin-centric society.
Even with my tendency to body dysmorphic disorder, I stopped there. I realized that I was never going to be the kind of perfect, airbrushed beauty that everyone thinks women are supposed to be.
The point is, in a world where Number Twelve Looks Just Like You, I always thought of myself as hideously ugly, and really, I’m not. I’m just plain, and at this point I’m pissed at those who pushed me into wasting so many years thinking of myself as unpretty.

I wish I could tie you up in my shoes make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful but what does that mean to you?
Look into the mirror who’s inside there the one with the long hair
Same old me again today, yeah

My outsides are cool, my insides are blue
Every time I think I’m through it’s because of you
I’ve tried different ways but it’s all the same
At the end of the day I have myself to blame
I’m just trippin’

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty
Yeah, I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and bright.

Never insecure until I met you, now I’m bein’ stupid
I used to be so cute to me, just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things? To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you and then I’ll get back to me, hey

My outsides are cool, my insides are blue
Every time I think I’m through it’s because of you
I’ve tried different ways but it’s all the same
At the end of the day I have myself to blame
People trippin’

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if you say so
You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty
I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and bight, and I pity any girl who isn’t me tonight.
tonight ( oh ah oh, oh oh ah oh oh.)
tonight ( oh ah oh, oh oh ah oh oh.)
to-night!

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can look inside you find out who am I too
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty

I feel pretty and unpretty

SONGWRITERS
AUSTIN, DALLAS L / WATKINS, TIONNE TENESE

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2 thoughts on “Unpretty

  1. That old conditioning stops us from doing what we should be doing–living life and being our best selves. There’s nothing wrong with being a common person. There’s nothing wrong with being old, fat, or plain. Be you, and that’s beautiful!

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