I had an hour occasion to be with a certain group of people for a certain purpose once; let us say it was a church. I was under the impression that I and my kin could share our triumphs and pains there. In the end I found that we could not. It was probably because we were in a minority there.
Now do not be mistaken. There were various cultures of people in the congregation. We missed the comment when we first started there about it being a “multiethnic and multigenerational” congregation. Racial and cultural minorities were outliers and were, so we found out, expected to fall in and comply.
So when a comment came up that was an affront to every non-European in the room, we spoke up. We were the only ones to speak up. And in the end we left, saddened that we could not make a difference, but glad to have taken a stand.
Our feelings mattered and still do. We continue to fight oppression–regardless of the particular “ism” (racism, sexism, ageism, genderism, financialism, etc.).
Don’t settle. Don’t blend.