Intellectual Discussion Cut Short by Rudeness

I honestly don’t know where to find the organization discussed in the video, or if it ever got off the ground. However, the text got me thinking. The Internet could be a great way for people from all over the world to connect with each other and gain greater understanding of each other. Sometimes it is. But many times one encounters horrific rudeness.

This crass behavior and lack of maturity stops any potential intellectual discussion dead in its tracks. I’ve found myself getting on the defensive and behaving badly when I feel under attack. I would love the idea that there would be a place that people could turn to engage in discussion and polite debate. Sadly, such places are few and far between, both on the Internet and in the real world.


This Doctor is Testing My Compassion

When I was in nursing school (a real bastion of fat-phobic thinking) and the program director/instructor asked students what kinds of patients they didn’t want to work with, several of my classmates said “obese people.” The instructor nodded her head knowingly. I was disgusted and horrified. I had not yet discovered Size Acceptance, but I finally spoke up and said “I think the reason that so many of you are prejudiced against fat people is that we’re very visible.” I don’t know if I got through to anybody, but I couldn’t sit by and endure that kind of hatred unchecked.
When I was doing my clinicals, I took care of several extremely heavy patients. One of them weighed about 425 pounds. She was bed-bound , which was a fairly recent thing for her. Her kidneys were no longer removing toxins from her system. She said “never in my life have I felt so weak and helpless.” One day when I came in to assist her, a doctor was there lecturing her and her husband on their need to lose weight. How about addressing the freaking kidney problem, and whatever other underlying medical problems she’s in the hospital for first? Gaaaah!
I noticed that this woman was on an extremely high dose of statin drugs, way out of safe ranges in fact. I’m not a pharmacist, nor am I a doctor, but I could not see anything in her presenting medical history that would indicate such a high dose of statins being called for. Statins can cause muscle pain and weakness, and I wondered if in such a high dose, they might also cause kidney damage.
The other very large woman we assisted was depressed almost to the point of catatonia. She was fairly well unable to assist us in any way. It took four of us to turn her. Fortunately, nobody expressed any hateful attitudes towards her. The hospital nurse explained to her what we would be doing and we did our best to make sure the experience was as comfortable as possible for her.
Another of the larger patients I assisted also had kidney issues. She was a thirty year old woman who had three kidneys. One of these kidneys was atrophied, and it seemed to be causing problems. It was a real head scratcher that the attending physician was recommending lap band surgery rather than removal of the atrophied third kidney.
The fourth woman was an older lady who had broken her shin. She was able to help the staff with turning and positioning, and was an “easy” patient.
Weight can be important, as in cases of kidney dysfunction, where one needs to check weight to see if the patient is retaining excess fluid or if treatment is helping them. It should never be used as a weapon for making people feel badly.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Using “lose weight” as the order that will cure all ills is lazy medicine, and it gets people killed. It actually harms people with thin body types too, as they are assumed automatically to be healthy, so no-one checks for underlying problems.

Dances With Fat

Bad Doctor A doctor has written a piece called “A morbidly obese patient tests the limits of a doctor’s compassion.”  No power on this Earth will make me link to it.  It seems like the doctor wants an opportunity to revel in his prejudice while getting credit for being brave and talking about it.  What it ends up being is a guide to how healthcare goes wrong for fat people. This post may be very triggering – you can skip the indented portions and that may help.

Considering the piece is named “A Morbidly Obese Patient Tests the Limits of a Doctor’s Compassion” you might have some ideas about the patient’s behavior so I’m going to go ahead and give a spoiler – he tested the limits of the doctor’s compassion simply by existing.  Charming.  It does not get better.

The piece centers around a patient who went to the emergency room…

View original post 1,279 more words

Resource Recommendations: You Tube Indie Films Channel and Indie Statik Blog

If you’re like me, you enjoy things that are a little off the beaten path. You may also enjoy the Film Festivals and Indie Films channel on You Tube, and the Indie Statik blog, which is where I stole borrowed the image above from
Let’s face it, when you’re short on money and time, you need opinions you can trust to help guide you in the right direction. These look to be two good resources to help you pick your poison. I know that I’m keeping them in my bookmarks for future reference!
~DJ Faycin~
Cross-posted to:

“But Not All ______ Are Like That!”

When your first response to a statement by or about a marginalized person is to say “but not all ____________ are like that,” then you aren’t listening. You are being an apologist for bad behavior.

The Belle Jar

I see this happen all the damn time.

Someone describes the actions of a privileged group of people and how these actions, purposefully or not, encourage the marginalization of a less-privileged group. Most often this description occurs within the context of trying to explain to the privileged folks how this dynamic is hurtful and oppressive. The hope is that the privileged group will listen to the marginalized person, examine their own behaviour, and try to do better in the future. The reality is that the person doing the explaining is nearly always met with a chorus of, “but not all men/white people/straight people/cis people/able-bodied people are like that!”

Look. I get it. You, whatever privileged group you happen to fall into, are a good person. You want to remind the marginalized group that you view yourself as an ally. You want them to know that not everyone is against them…

View original post 744 more words

Being Fat vs. Having Fat

I could describe myself as the fat, older lady with long gray hair and glasses. People could easily pick me out of a crowd with that description, I think. However, I’d have plenty of people telling me not to call myself fat or old. Why shouldn’t I? They’re neutral descriptors!
I also bet I’d have plenty of people asking me why I don’t dye my hair. After all, why wouldn’t I want to try and pretend I’m twenty-five when I’m actually nearly twice that?
I think it’s eye-roll time!
I would love to live in a world where a person could be what they are and not be told that what they are is unacceptable.

Dances With Fat

my name is Reader Jennifer let me know about a Facebook meme that says “You are not fat.  You have fat.  You also have fingernails.  But you are not fingernails.”  I’ve seen this in plenty of version and I think it’s problematic on a lot of levels.

First of all, as regular readers have probably already sussed out, I would be much more comfortable if this was written from the perspective of how someone feels about/for themselves instead of dictating to others how we should feel (ie: “I’m not fat, I have fat” instead of “You are not fat, you have fat”.)  People are allowed to look at their bodies this way because, hey, underpants rule.  That said, I think it’s an idea worth some exploring.

First of all, let’s consider some other examples: You are not brunette, you have brown hair.  You are not tall, you have above-average height. When I’m…

View original post 724 more words

Maybe Barbie Should Apologize

Someone is actually concerned that a plastic doll is under criticism about her body and how she looks?
I bet the same fool that wrote this criticizes larger women every day for their bodies and how they look.
I am gob-smacked.

Dances With Fat

Reality and Perception If you haven’t heard, Mattel – the maker’s of the Barbie doll – have paid Sports Illustrated to put Barbie in their Swimsuit Issue.  The move has been criticized, including by those who have pointed out that studies show that Barbie hurts the body image and self esteem of girls with her completely unrealistic and unattainable body. Mattel is shocked – shocked I tell you – at the body shaming of Barbie:

AdAge reports:

“Barbie is a legend in her own right, with more than 150 careers and a brand valued at $3 billion,” a Mattel spokeswoman said. “She is in great company with the other legends such as Heidi Klum and Christie Brinkley, to name a few.”

“As a legend herself, and under criticism about her body and how she looks, posing in ‘Sports Illustrated Swimsuit’ gives Barbie and her fellow legends an opportunity to own who they are…

View original post 738 more words

Third Round Of Voting For Fan Built Episode Of Hawaii Five-0 Now Open

I am not a fan of the Hawaii 5-0 Reboot. The original Hawaii 50- was…well, perhaps it was “just another cop show,” but it was unique. This version is just another angsty Aughts cop show. I think I could have appreciated it more if it had been Hawaii 5-0: The Next Generation. Instead, it’s as if my beloved 70’s cops from the Big Island were replaced with glossy, bleached–toothed, print-ready magazine models. Nothing against the performers, but the new Hawaii 5-0 really isn’t my bag, and the creators should be booked on charges of criminal lack of originality.

One Year Ago Today

A sobering reminder that victims are often forgotten in violent crimes. It is important to advocate for victims’ rights.

Truth, Justice, and All-American Allergen-Free Apple Pie

Purple Candle It was one year ago today that Bothell resident Susann Smith was savagely murdered at her home. It is one of the most horrific domestic violence homicides I know of. This German-born mother of two was subjected to deliberate violations and atrocities designed to maximize her suffering and ultimately take her life.

In May of last year, taken aback by how little news coverage this case had received, I posted an article about her murder on this blog. The Bothell Reporter, thankfully, had kept the case alive in the public’s eye and published details that no one else in the media seemed to care about. While I’m passionate about crime victims advocacy, I had no idea that this blog would become a gathering spot for people connected to the case. The original post and comment thread, with links to many articles, is at

Smith’s ex-husband was eventually arrested…

View original post 331 more words

Prove It! Moby Dick 1 —

I don’t remember the one they’re blabbing about on the station I listen to, and it might even be this one. The ad goes: “Men! If you need to lose weight, the first thing you need to do is not use a women’s weight loss product, because those cause you to lose muscle, and you don’t want to lose your well earned muscle!”
That’s right, gents. Underneath your big old Santa Claus belly lies a set of ripped, Captain America abs, and when this product gets through with you, you’ll be busting out of your old clothes Hulk-style, with your new ripped musculature!
REAL women, on the other hand, do NOT have muscle under their girly flab. Being like them would make you a girly man and stuff!
Agh–my eyes! They’re rolling into the back of my head! Somebody help me!

Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

Weight LossFat HealthFat ScienceExerciseDiet Talk

Trigger warning: This post is about a bogus weight loss product.

tl;dr warning: This investigation is almost a month in the making and requires some depth to tell it right. Therefore, I am dividing this into a two-part series. Bear with me, it pays off in the end.

February is a nice month, isn’t it? I’ve always found that between October and December life starts to get progressively more frantic thanks to the holidays. I enjoy this time of year immensely, but it just wears me out, psychologically and emotionally. I look forward to getting into the New Year and starting fresh. But January brings about our annual gauntlet of self-loathing that is New Year’s resolution commercials.

This year, I noticed one particular commercial that began airing on our Classic Rock station around Christmas. The male announcer was telling us about a fantastic new product called Final Trim…

View original post 2,752 more words