I don’t remember the one they’re blabbing about on the station I listen to, and it might even be this one. The ad goes: “Men! If you need to lose weight, the first thing you need to do is not use a women’s weight loss product, because those cause you to lose muscle, and you don’t want to lose your well earned muscle!”
That’s right, gents. Underneath your big old Santa Claus belly lies a set of ripped, Captain America abs, and when this product gets through with you, you’ll be busting out of your old clothes Hulk-style, with your new ripped musculature!
REAL women, on the other hand, do NOT have muscle under their girly flab. Being like them would make you a girly man and stuff!
Agh–my eyes! They’re rolling into the back of my head! Somebody help me!
Trigger warning: This post is about a bogus weight loss product.
tl;dr warning: This investigation is almost a month in the making and requires some depth to tell it right. Therefore, I am dividing this into a two-part series. Bear with me, it pays off in the end.
February is a nice month, isn’t it? I’ve always found that between October and December life starts to get progressively more frantic thanks to the holidays. I enjoy this time of year immensely, but it just wears me out, psychologically and emotionally. I look forward to getting into the New Year and starting fresh. But January brings about our annual gauntlet of self-loathing that is New Year’s resolution commercials.
This year, I noticed one particular commercial that began airing on our Classic Rock station around Christmas. The male announcer was telling us about a fantastic new product called Final Trim…
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