The Mess in Detroit

It may not be a perfect solution, but it would be a step forward.

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What You’re Actually Saying When You Ignore Someone’s Preferred Gender Pronouns

My son’s best friend is trans (female to male). He has encountered a lot of ignorance and bullying. He lives with a severe version of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and this is more than enough of a challenge without people always telling him that he’s a “freak” or a “pervert.”
I don’t know how long this young man has in this world. All the medications he’s on plus the effects of the disease on his vascular system have caused him to have seizures and, more recently, a subarachnoid bleed and a stroke. He’s not even 20 years old.
This boy is not a pervert or a sicko, he is simply a person who feels that he was born into a body of the wrong gender. He is the gentlest soul and does not deserve the abuses that have been heaped on him.

Let's Queer Things Up!

It can’t be emphasized enough: Coming out as transgender or any variation thereof is downright terrifying. It is often met with criticism, resistance, and invalidation. When I came out to friends, it felt like the world was crashing down all around me.

And by far, the worst part was the resistance I faced when asking others to stop saying “she.” Beyond coming out, we also ask others to change a very ingrained habit — to use different pronouns when speaking about us. This is where I encountered the most turmoil.

Some folks simply don’t understand what they are saying when they refuse to use someone’s preferred gender pronouns.

When someone states their preferred pronouns (he, she, ze, they, etc), they are asking for your respect. And when you choose not to use these pronouns, and instead opt for your own, you are not only invalidating someone’s identity, but you are…

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Law and Disorder: Stupid Sentencing: Brittni Colleps

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Brittni Colleps

I just stumbled across a video which reminded me of the Brittni Colleps case. Colleps is the high school teacher from Texas who was jailed for five years for having sex with five members of the football team.

I’m using a Do Not Link URL for the video, because the editorial comments following the 60 Minutes report are extremely problematic.

http://www.donotlink.com/c0tb

 The question is posed: should this woman be in jail for her actions? All of the individuals participating in the sexual activities were consenting adults, over the age of 18. No-one was being forced to participate. All of the young men who participated testified that they were willingly involved.

Regardless of the fact that it is a criminal offense for a teacher to have sex with any K-12 student no matter what said student’s age, it is ridiculous to keep this individual in jail. She is not a threat to society. She should have been fired from her job and not allowed to teach again. However, she should also have been put on probation rather than being jailed.

This woman’s actions were foolhardy, as were the actions of the young men who participated in, video recorded, and then shared the video of the orgy. The participants were all caught up in the excitement of the moment. They were not thinking about the repercussions of their actions. However, I doubt that any of them are truly “bad people.” They are simply foolish.

Some people have decried the fact that Ms. Colleps sent her children to stay with relatives for the night. I would certainly rather she had her children out of the house while participating in a gang bang than had them in the house where they could walk in and observe her involved in sexual activity with multiple men who aren’t their father.

I do not purport to know what this woman’s personal issues are, although she evidently has a few.

Regarding why I created a Do Not Link URL for the You Tube video:

The editorial comments by the video’s creator are hugely problematic. Yes, racism still does exist, and yes, there are a lot of incredibly stupid, ignorant white people who don’t check their actions. However, stating that all white women cheat on their significant others either with other men or with animals (he literally said this) is both a racially prejudiced and misogynistic statement. A lot of white people do shitty things, and some white women do cheat on their husbands. Some white women do engage in bestiality. Nonetheless, his statements are unwarranted and nasty, and I don’t want to help him get traffic for making them.

I’m all for calling out bad behavior. I am not for making derogatory blanket statements in any case.

~Opal~