Should Boxing Be Banned?

My mother believes that boxing should be banned. She is right that the head injuries incurred by boxers are troubling and can cause physical and psychological problems down the line. She is right about mafia involvement in boxing. However, I think there are other steps that can be taken rather than banning the sport outright.

Boxing should be cleaned up. Steps should be taken to prevent fighters from incurring head injuries. A new set of criteria should be developed for choosing a winner in a match as opposed to the K.O. Whenever someone is knocked out, they have incurred a head injury. Head injuries are serious business, and the aftereffects can last a lifetime, particularly after multiple head injuries have been incurred.

The general public does not realize just how serious head injuries are. They see people getting knocked over the head on television, and that person gets up a bit later with a headache but is all right. In reality, a head injury is much more serious. There can be lasting aftereffects including dizziness, recurring headaches, seizures, mood swings. Head injuries can even kill.

I believe that boxing is a legitimate sport, but the aspect of head injuries very definitely needs to be addressed. The champion can’t very well enjoy the winnings if they are struggling with post-concussion syndrome for the remainder of their life, or worse, if their life is over because of an ill-fated blow.

~Tempest~

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The Key to a Lasting Marriage

I caught the Armchair Psychology bug after talking with my son regarding his dad. I’m not on bad terms with my ex husband. Our divorce was very civil, and we had joint custody of our sole child. While we had disagreements over the years, sometimes nasty ones, we were a family. Although I haven’t spoken to him in almost a year, it isn’t out of animosity. He lives in another state, and we really haven’t had any pressing reason to speak to each other.
I’m not pining for my ex husband. I’m the one who ended the marriage. No matter how vile things were, he never would have. He doesn’t care enough about himself not to live in an intolerable situation. From a retrospective position, it’s likely that he has Asperger’s syndrome. Because I have conditions such as bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, I tend to be very emotionally volatile. We were an oil and water combination. Plus, there is a certain shameful admission on my part. I really never loved the guy. I married him because it seemed the logical thing to do.
I was not forced into marriage. I was not pregnant when we got married, in fact I thought that I couldn’t have kids. I reasoned that I tended to get too hung up on guys that I fell in love with, so it would be better to marry one that seemed sensible. He presented a calm exterior. It seemed likely that he would be monogamous. He was intelligent, so I reasoned that he would probably be able to get a decent job. If it sounds like I was choosing a business partner rather than a spouse, that was, to a degree, the logic I was using when I made the decision to marry him.
In researching the topic of how marriages deteriorate, I found plenty of videos and articles stating rote ideas such as “men aren’t made to be monogamous, they want to bang as many women as they can get their hands on.” Or, “the problem these days is that women are not subservient to their husbands.” Yuck. Both of these are terrible opinions involving unnecessary sexual stereotypes and outmoded gender roles.
SOME men want to bang as many women as they can get their hands on. If one is this kind of man, he should be honest with himself and any potential partners and not get married. Not all women are wired for monogamy either. Unless both partners would truly be okay with an open marriage, the folks who are still sowing their wild oats should not be putting a ring on it. Period.
Regarding the “women should be subservient” chestnut, 1300 called. It wants its ideals back.
Nobody should be subservient to anybody. Everybody should be respectful of those with whom they have any kind of relationship. In a working marriage, communication is the key. Both partners need to be flexible. No one person should be calling all the shots.
Marriage takes work, and perhaps too many of us still have the whole starry-eyed “happily ever after” idea trapped in our psyches, as if it happens magically. People need to make their own magic, both in choosing a partner and making it work with that partner.
I guess I’m glad I didn’t know this 30 years ago, because I did get my son out of that ill-advised relationship, and he is everything to me.
Personally, I gave up on the whole “finding my prince” thing a number of years ago. My psychological problems are too severe for being in a romantic relationship to be a positive thing for me. I tend to be drawn to chaotic men who are charming on the surface but when their true nature comes out, it is revealed to be abusive and controlling. Chasing a storybook romance is not worth ending up in the E.R. with bloody wrists.
My marriage to my ex husband did not end with bloody wrists. It ended fairly decisively. He had become emotionally abusive, and it wasn’t worth it to stay in the relationship any more. I was a mess psychologically, with a trifecta of undiagnosed conditions. There was no way it could possibly have worked. We both agreed that our son was better off if we divorced.
May I say that I hope all of you find your ideal partner. Make sure you bring your head into it rather than letting your lust do the talking, but don’t let the head be the sole decider. Marriage without desire and without that intangible quality of romantic love is a life-draining thing. Marry someone whom you truly like. This is the advice that I give my son. It isn’t as if I’m an expert on love by any means, but the marriages that I’ve seen which have lasted all have this quality. Both partners truly like each other.
Peace,
The Cheese

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The Red Carpet

Axel Brauns is a novelist who lives with autism. He discusses his issues with learning to interpret faces and perceive emotions.

I do not have much experience with autism, so please forgive any shortfalls in my knowledge. I know that some people think that all individuals with autism are out of control and learning disabled. From what I have observed in what I have read and viewed about people with the condition, there is a great range in abilities, intelligence, and tolerance of external stimulus.

I think that whether autistic or mentally ill, it is often difficult living in a world where one does not fall into the neuro-normative spectrum. People who are not neuro-normative are often misperceived as being less intelligent, dangerous, unable to interact with others, and completely unstable.

Educating the public helps resolve the stigma that persons who are not neuro-normative endure.

I wish I could find a copy of this film. Axel is a fascinating person. I would like to learn more about his writing and thought processes.

~Wanda~

Cross-posted to:

Crazy Town in Looney Land

Sly Fawkes